Unwritten
by Maaike-OUAT
Summary: Takes place one year after the season 3 midseason finale. Emma and Henry live in an apartment in Manhattan, and Emma has dreams - or nightmares as she prefers to call them - about Neal chasing her. She thinks she's going insane, but is she...? AU. Swanfire.
1. Dreams

**I just wanted to try something new and see if you like where this is going. I would really appreciate a review, so that I know whether it looks promising or not ;) **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything, just this profile**

* * *

**Dreams**

She had these dreams lately. Dreams of her ex-boyfriend Neal. Over the years she had proven to be successful in forgetting about him, but over the last few weeks he seemed to have sneaked his way back into her subconscious. And she did not like it one bit.

After all, Neal was the one who knocked her up and left her to rot in jail. He betrayed her, and there is no way that she can ever forgive him for that.

Indeed he did leave her something: the keys of the yellow bug. The car she was ironically still driving in, twelve years later.

'And there is another constant reminder of his existence,' ponders Emma. She walks towards the window in her bedroom and holds the dream catcher they found years before, in her hands. The beautiful material and the neat finishing are all signs of professional craftsmanship. The blonde weighs the object in her hand like it is some sort of magical artifact.

She cannot deny that it does mean something to her. The time they had spend together were intense and adventurous, and there is not a man in the world who she has ever loved more than Neal. That is the reason why she kept the Native American dream catcher. As for the same reason as to why she kept the swan keychain that was now hanging as a necklace around her neck.

Emma returns the dream catcher to its place in front of the window, and stares absentmindedly outside. Her fingers are curled around the pendant.

''What are you doing Mom?''

The voice of her son wakes her from her daydream. ''Nothing really, just thinking.''

''About what?'' says Henry in the curious way that only he can do. He walks into his mother's bedroom and plumps down on the bed. He looks at her in a peculiar way. ''You are holding that pendant much more nowadays than you did before,'' he states as a matter of fact.

''I do?'' Emma did not even realize that she did. Her dreams must be the reason why.

''Yes, of course you do, almost the entire day long.''

She can't help but smile at her clever son. ''Okay kid, now you're exaggerating.''

''Am not,'' he replies, keeping a straight face.

''Oh you so do. But that is okay, I can handle it.''

''Fine, but you did not even give a real answer to my question yet.'' As his mother does not react straight away: ''why are you standing here, staring like that?''

''I told you, I was just thinking.'' At this point, her son's curiosity touches a nerve. She is not ready to tell him about his father yet.

''I know, but what were you thinking _about_?'' Henry is now eagerly swinging his legs back and forth above the ground.

''Henry, I really do not want to get into this,'' says Emma in a tone that hopefully makes it clear to her son that he should drop the question.

Luckily for her, the boy leaves it – for now – and nods silently where after he makes his way down the stairs.

Emma cannot help but to feel a little pang of guilt. ''Hey!'' she yells after him, ''shall I make us pancakes for breakfast?''

''Sure,'' mutters Henry almost unintelligible from his position downstairs.

* * *

That same night, a similar dream as the nights before haunts her. She twists and turns in her sleep, and she is bathed in cold sweat.

* * *

''_Emma wait!'' _

''_What do you want from me? Go away!'' Emma tries to run as fast as she can, but it seems like some invisible force is keeping her from moving fast enough. She feels herself moving on turtle speed, while Neal is approaching her quickly._

''_Emma! I just want to talk to you, please wait!'' his voice is getting closer and closer._

''_No, go away! I never want to see you again!'' She has never felt so frustrated in her life. Neal, the man she once loved and now hates is haunting her and there is nothing she can do to stop him._

''_There is something important I need to tell you. Please Emma, I won't hurt you!''_

_She never gave herself the chance to turn around to face him, too afraid of going through too much pain for her to handle. With every step he moves closer to her, the more she starts to panic. ''Leave me alone!''_

_It does not take much longer for Neal to catch up with her. _

_She feels his hand on her shoulder, and the impact of his movement forces her to turn around to face him. She freezes the moment she has to look into his dark eyes. _

_It are the pleading eyes that she is so well acquainted with now. The unshaven face, the brown hair she used to lovingly go through with her fingers… All is familiar to her, yet the clothes he is wearing look… different. So different even that they appear to come from another world. _

_Neal wears some sort of brown cloak, with trousers that seem to be made out of a sackcloth. The boots he is wearing are made out of leather, but are in a style that is not familiar to the blonde at all._

''_Emma, please listen to me. There is something really important I have to tell you. And there is not much time. I am here to warn you. Your family is…''_

* * *

Right at that moment Emma wakes up, still sweating and shivering now from the aftermath of the dream.

She glances at the alarm clock that is standing on her bed stand. It indicates 3:37am. Not much prospect for joy. Every time she had a dream like this, she had not been able to fall back asleep.

She feels that her body is completely exhausted, and even Henry started to notice it too recently. Once or twice he has made a comment about the dark circles underneath her eyes and he even joked about how forgetful she was lately. She even forgot to give him his lunch for school the other day, something she always made for him.

The realization that this cannot longer go on like this is present, but she simply doesn't know what she can do about it.

There is something else to worry about too. The dreams were always very similar, however it was just since this week that Neal actually did caught up with her and tried to tell her something.

'_I am probably just going insane,' _ she thinks in herself.

* * *

The rest of the night she tosses and turns, but sleep won't ever come to drag her with him. The dream however won't either, which she considers to be the only positive result of her insomnia.

* * *

What Emma doesn't know however is that something important is looming on the horizon. It is desperately trying to break through, but was not successful up and until now. Nevertheless, it won't give up, and True Love is the exact reason why.

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**Thank you so much for reading! xoxo**


	2. Demons

**Oh wow! I'm completely overwhelmed by your response! Thank you so much for all the follows, favorites and reviews! I will try to respond to all of them personally, but a special 'thank you' here for all the guests who have reviewed and who I can't reply to directly. Your reviews mean as much to me as all the others!**

**Coming back to a very smart question Kristen3 asked me, why Emma can remember all the memories she has of Neal. Of course I had to share this with you in the first chapter already, but I totally forgot about it. In this story, Regina has wiped away Emma's memories áfter she gave birth to Henry. So she remembers everything of her life before that moment. Thanks Kristen for reminding me! Sometimes I get so drawn into my own stories, that I forget that you guys can't look inside my mind ;)**

* * *

''Mom! Mom!''

Henry's voice seems to come from very far away. She does not even notice it when he gently tugs on her sleeve. ''Mom!'' she hears again, a little closer this time.

But she doesn't want to wake up, she just wants to sleep. Nothing more than sleep. Is that too much to ask?

''Mom… call…ambulance…need help'' are the few words she picks up. The seriousness in her son's tone of voice completely passes her by.

''Emma!'' A final attempt of Henry to wake up his mother.

Emma? Her son never called her that. More and more information is reaching through to her. She probably has to open her eyes. Maybe just for a little second… Her eyelids feel extremely heavy and it almost costs her all of her willpower to open them. The light that starts to fall into her half-opened eyes burn her nerves and her sight is blurry.

''Mom, are you okay?''

Emma scratches her head with one hand and covers her eyes with the other, trying to block out the light that really hurt her vision. ''Yeah, I guess so…'' she is startled by her own voice, which sounds raspy and raw, absolutely nothing like her normal voice. ''Oh God, my head…. What happened?'' It really feels like she has been hit on the head with a rock.

''We were just having breakfast, and you fell asleep, just like that! And I couldn't wake you. I almost wanted to call 911'' cries Henry in response.

Emma finally finds the strength to lift up her head and realizes that her son must've been terrified. The fear is still visible in his eyes. ''Oh Henry, I am so sorry! I didn't mean to scare you.'' She tries to get up with the intention of walking over to her son who sits at the other side of the table, but the sudden dizziness she feels overwhelms her, and she is forced to sit back down.

''Are you sure you are okay?'' the boy asks in a worried tone.

''Yeah sure, just a bit woozy that's all. I must have snoozed in for a bit there. Nothing for you to worry about.''

''It is getting worse and worse every day isn't it? Your insomnia I mean?''

Her son is way too clever for his age. ''Why do you think I have insomnia?'' she asks.

''Mom, I am not five anymore. You do not have to protect me!'' Henry replies a little offended. ''It is completely obvious.'' He holds up one finger in the air. ''First, you just yawn the entire day. Second''- he holds up a second finger – ''your eyes are all red and you have these dark circles underneath them.'' He lifts up a third finger. ''Third, you forget about the simplest things. My lunch, that dentist appointment you forgot to go to, the countless times you forgot to lock the car door.''

Emma holds up a hand in defense. ''But…''

''No mom, let me finish. You tell me every time that you are fine and that there is absolutely nothing to worry about. But you passed out just there. You passed out and I almost couldn't wake you. We need to get you help.''

Her mouth falls open in amazement. Did her little boy – apparently not so little anymore - just lecture her? ''Henry I…'' She really does not know what to say.

''We just need to find out why it is that you cannot sleep during the night,'' he continues, softer this time. ''That's all.'' When he still does not get a reply from Emma: ''What if you fall asleep while driving? I don't want you to get an accident.'' He seems really angry at this point.

''But I won't, Henry I promise you I won't.'' She reaches over the table to grab his hands. His words feel like a stab through the heart. He is right, she should do something about it. This cannot go on like this. She should face her fears, starting tonight. She tries to pull a brave face. ''I promise you I am going to take care of it.''

''Is there anything I can do to help you?'' Henry asks.

''No, you being here is enough.'' Emma forces a smile.

''Shouldn't you call in sick?'' the boy asks when Emma tries to get up again.

''No, that is not necessary. If it doesn't go well, I can always go home in the afternoon,'' she assures him. But when she is walking towards the front door, a new wave of dizziness overwhelms her, and she needs to hold onto the bar in the kitchen in order not to fall face flat on the floor. Her hand moves towards her forehead.

Henry is with her in an instant. ''Are you okay?''

''Maybe this isn't going to work after all,'' murmurs Emma. ''Okay,'' she sighs, ''I give up. I am going to take a sick day.'' Henry's sigh of relief doesn't go unnoticed. ''Happy, Kid?'' she forces a smile.

''Yes,'' he replies in all honesty. ''And now, you need to go to bed, come on mom.'' He not-so-gently pulls her on her arm towards her bedroom.

''Hey, hey, I still need to call in sick!'' argues Emma, the wave of dizziness luckily passed.

''Well, you have a phone in your bedroom, you can call from there,'' he answers, not letting go of her arm.

''Yes Dad,'' she answers sarcastically. A grin appears on her face as she willingly let her be led to her bedroom. ''Oh come on Kid, you are not going to tuck me in now are you?'' she jokes when they arrive at the bedside.

''If you don't do it yourself, I am afraid I do not have a choice,'' laughs Henry.

Emma first makes a call to the local police station, the place she works as a patrol woman.

When she then finally is settled underneath the sheets, the boy stands a little doubtingly next to her. ''Do you… do you want me to stay?'' The question sounds hesitant.

''Only if you want to,'' she says softly, sending him another smile.

''I don't have school today and not much else to do, so I guess it's okay,'' he mutters.

''Come here,'' says Emma, making place for him in the bed.

Henry shyly removes his shoes and lies himself down next to his mother.

She gently ruffles his hair, pondering about how long it has been since he last slept in her bed. It must've been at least seven years ago when he used to sneak into her room in the middle of the night, all in tears because he had a nightmare. ''I am sorry Henry,'' she says, ''for scaring you so much.''

''That's okay. I just want you to get better, that is all.''

Her eyes start to feel heavy again and a yawn escapes her mouth. ''Thank you Kid, I mean it.''

''Ssst, you can go to sleep now. I am here right beside you,'' Henry whispers.

That is what she always used to say to him when he had his nightmares. It feels good to know that he hasn't forget about that.

She falls asleep with her lips curled up in a smile.

* * *

_She is in the dark room again she has been in many times. She knows it will only be a matter of seconds before Neal will call out for her._

''_Emma, please wait!''_

_Yes, there he is. Not a second too late. As in instinct, she starts to run. _

''_Emma, I just want to talk to you! Please wait!''_

_She made a promise to Henry. She was going to fix this. She knows that when she tries to run away from Neal, nothing will change and the dream will remain exactly the same. It won't solve the insomnia._

_She should stop running, turn around and listen to what Neal has got to say. But it is too hard, her fears making it impossible for her to stop. ''Go away! Leave me alone!'' she yells._

_But like during every nightmare, Neal catches up with her in a heartbeat._

_Again, like all the other nights before, she feels his hand on her shoulder, forcing her to turn around. She can still change the ending of this dream, she thinks in herself. Just listen to what he has to say. For Henry. _

''_Emma, please listen to me. There is something really important I need to tell you, and there is not much time.''_

_All the memories of her and Neal flash through her mind, the good and the bad. ''No!'' she cries. ''No, I cannot do this! Stop it! Stop it!''_

* * *

''Mom? Mom!'' She feels her son tugging her shoulder as she wakes up.

''Mom, wake up, you had a nightmare.''

For the, what feels like, the hundredth time she wakes up in cold sweat, shivers running all over her spine. She turns her head to face Henry. ''I'm sorry Kid, I just couldn't do it…''

* * *

The dream haunts her for the next days also.

It has happened sometimes again that she lost consciousness for a few seconds a time during the day, but luckily never when Henry was around.

She knows it is extremely irresponsible for her to drive a car, but she cannot afford taking another sick day, and the station is far away from their apartment. She desperately needs her salary to pay all the bills and the rent of the apartment.

* * *

Emma had dropped Henry off at school that morning and is on her way to work. Although it is freezing outside, she has the front window open to let the cold air in, and the radio is blasting on full volume. All kind of ways to help her to stay awake. She forces herself to sing with every song, even though she does not know the lyrics to some of them.

The days had become straight torture for her. Her body feels about to fall apart, and her head seems to be filled with cotton wool.

People at work had noticed the change in her behavior too of course, but she was not as close to anyone of them to get anything more than some mocking comments thrown at her.

The song 'Demons' by 'Imagine Dragons' is playing on the radio, and she sings along as loud as she can. ''No matter what we breed, we still are made of greed. This is my kingdom come, this is my kingdom come!''

She gets some strange looking faces when she's waiting in front of a red light by some people next to her in a blue car. She doesn't even notice it anymore.

''When you feel my heat inside, look into my eyes. It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide. Don't get too close. It's dark inside. It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide!''

The cold air filling the car and the loud music do not really seem to help this time. Her eyes become heavier and heavier. ''No, I can't fall asleep, I can't fall asleep,'' she murmurs. The words repeat as a mantra inside her head.

The news bulletin is about to start on this radio channel, so she tries to find another channel that plays just music.

In her moment of distraction, she almost runs into another car that is waiting for a red light. She can hit the break just in time.

''Oh God, what am I doing?'' she asks herself out loud.

She has finally found a channel that actually plays music. The song 'Somewhere Only We Know'' is airing.

''Oh simple thing, where have you gone? I'm getting old and I need something to rely on,'' Emma sings out loud.

Her vision becomes blurrier with the minute. She blinks a few times with her eyes, but it won't help.

The song seems to be coming from further away too.

''Can't fall asleep, I can't fall asleep, I cannot fall asleep,'' she mutters over and over again.

Her knuckles turn white when she desperately holds on to the steering wheel. ''I cannot fall asleep, I cannot fall asleep.''

''I cannot fall asleep…'' is the last thing she thinks before the lights go out.

* * *

**Uhm... I'm sorry for the cliffhanger...? :$ ;) Thanks for reading! xoxo**


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